Dear Hedy and Yumi,
You may not remember us, but I thought you would appreciate knowing how we are doing.
We “bridge” once or twice a week, and we have become practiced enough with this tool that we now have complete trust in the process; we have come to know that whatever needs to come to the surface will indeed come, even if we are not conscious of it when one of us invites the other to come over the bridge into their world. We also have experienced, time and time again, that there is nothing too great, or too small, for a bridge visit. Infrequently, when we have not crossed the bridge in the space of a week, we find ourselves longing for that special intimacy that a bridge crossing invariably renders.
Just yesterday, a series of circumstances and casual choices led to a breaking point for Lola, who told me, quite emphatically, that we needed a bridge crossing. One year ago, a statement like that would have threatened me greatly, and my defenses would not have allowed any real communication to take place between us in this area of need. Now, one year later, I truly welcomed this as a heartfelt gesture of love and trust from my partner. As a visitor, there is no fear, because, no matter how deeply the surface issue may be connected to formidable and ancient wounds, I am being welcomed into some of the most secret and intimate corners of my partner’s life.
And when I am the one inviting, I never cease to be moved on the deepest level of my being by the soft and open eyes of my visiting partner, looking right into my soul with only love and acceptance. Areas that once were terrifying and dangerous now become sacred meeting places. Areas that may have seemed long dead, chilled by resignation or even frozen with cynicism, now spring to life with unimagined possibilities. Space between us that was littered and clogged with emotional garbage, polluted with creeping toxicity, became clean and clear, open and safe. And into this newly open and clear space rushes compassion, tenderness, understanding, renewed attentiveness, and sometimes, even arousal!
After receiving all that Lola needed to share with me, it occurred to me that this bridge crossing was perhaps the most fitting way to mark and celebrate the first anniversary of our particular Intimacy workshop. We consider that workshop one of the best investments we have ever made! We both could thank you for the rest of our lives, and it would not be enough. We thank you not only for what you gave us, but for the great love you two demonstrated in conducting the workshop. You gave us all 100% of your presence. In our faith, there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends; Hedy and Yumi, you laid down your lives for strangers. God bless you and your work for always!
Lola and Greg Sendler