One day, sitting at my favorite cafe with my computer, and facing an insurmountable mountain of e-mails, I came to the realization again that I have not yet stepped into the 21st century. The e-mail in-box is a daunting task for me. And this is especially true now, because with Yumi fully back to himself, filled to the brim with vitality and zest, I find myself choosing to simply sit with him, walk with him, talk with him, laugh with him, dance with him. These days I am choosing to spend as much time as I possibly can with my new husband, husband #28 in our 49 year marriage.
Here we are on April 13, 2014, celebrating our 49th wedding anniversary on a Passover Cruise to the Carribean Islands.
The new Yumi is remarkable beyond words. His zest for living, his capacity to be in the now, his excitement about every moment of life, his joie de vivre, his abounding creativity, his loving expressiveness, his depth of soul….it seems that the journey through the darkness was in the service of new life. It reminds me of Leonard Cohen’s words: “The light comes in through the cracks in the broken heart.”
But while Yumi and I are simply being happy together, my in-box of e-mails is overflowing. Answering each e-mail has now entered into the category of an unattainable task. Maybe Yumi and I are indeed not 21st century people, but rather 22nd century people, who are choosing the human encounter as a priority. Maybe it will be the task of the 22nd century to remember to sit across from each other, gaze into each other’s eyes, touch gently, and look at one another in sheer and radical amazement, feeling fully the blessing of being human, being present, and being alive in this very moment, in connection with another to celebrate what “IS.”
There is a Hebrew prayer that is said at all times when something new enters our life. How good it is to know that every single moment is something new that enters our life. The prayer reads as follows:
“Baruch Ata Hashem, Elokeinu Melech Haolam, Shehecheyany, ve Kiyemanu, Ve Higiyanu La Zman Hazeh.” A translation is: “Thank you to the Spirit of the Universe, for giving us life, for sustaining us in health, and for bringing us to this very moment, right now, to celebrate what “is.”
We are including in this broadcast the 18 steps for “bridging” to each other – a slow, deep and transformational ritual to develop the art of connection and be present to each other, right now.
The Ritual of Bridging:
- Sit across from each other, with one partner’s knees on the inside, touching the chair of the other partner
- Sit quietly, and breathe, and hold hands, and make soft eye contact, and just sit across from each other for an eternal “moment.”
- With your eyes, warmly express gratitude for this moment in time, for being alive, for having a wonderful family, for the abundance of life…
- The “Host” makes the invitation by saying: “I am inviting you to cross the bridge and come to me. I would like to take your hands and visit a neighborhood in my world.”
- The “Visitor” says: “Thank you for the invitation” as if it is an invitation that just arrived in the mail. And then says: “I accept!”
- The “Visitor” consciously and deliberately crosses the bridge of their imagination, one step at a time, knowing that, as they walk towards their partner, their own world is getting smaller and smaller and disappears in the distance.
- When the “Visitor” senses that they are now fully present with their partner, in the “here and now,” available, curious, and open hearted, they say: “I am here with you and I am ready to hear you.”
- The “Host” speaks in one essential sentence at a time.
- The “Visitor” listens attentively, knowing that they are learning the language of their partner and allows the words to penetrate
- After a pause the “Visitor” says: “I hear you say…….Have I got you?”
- The “Host” says either “Yes” or “Yes, almost” or “Yes, but let me clarify”
- When the “Host” feels complete, and feels nourished by the encounter, they say: “I feel complete”
- The “Visitor” then essentializes by saying: “Let me see if I have got the essence of what you told me. I heard you say……. Have I got the essence?”
- The “Host” says; “Yes, you’ve got the essence” or “Yes you’ve almost got the essence, and I also want you to hear…..”
- If there is an addition to the essence, the “Visitor” repeats it and then asks: “Have I got the essence?”
- The Visit ends with mutual appreciation of both partners: “What I most appreciate about you during this visit is……” which is repeated by both partners.
- Remain sitting, holding hands and looking at each other to get a sense of the climate in the space-between and describe some qualities of the space-between
- Thank each other for the visit
Enjoy your visits over the bridge. Let’s prepare ourselves to be joyfully connected and make the 22nd century the era of the celebration of the “power of connection.”
Have a great Spring,
With love and gratitude,
Hedy and Yumi