"What the heck do I do now?"
I have faced this couples therapist’s dilemma many a time in my career, when I found myself having landed in the challenging territory of "stuckness" with a couple.
I wrote an article called "What the heck do I do now? The Two Flipchart Technique." The article is based on the final Tele-class that I presented to the participants of the second Encounter-centered Couples Therapy Master Class. You can download this article here.
I am also sending you the Power vs Force chart that I mention in the article. I now give the chart to the couples whom I introduce to the two flip charts. The Power vs Force chart comes from the book by David Hawkins called: "Power Vs Force: The Anatomy of Consciousness."
And here is what I write to the couple along with the chart:
"As you continue on your journey of consciousness in connection, I am sending you the Power vs Force chart as inspiration. It is a wonderful way to remember the distinction between the "dance of survival," the relational power struggle, and the "dance of life in connection," the potential of our highest selves.
David Hawkins calculated the energetic frequencies of different emotional states. His research presented him with the finding that the state of Courage has 200 mega hertz of energetic frequency. He calls it the "Courage Line."
Above the “Courage Line" are states like neutrality, willingness, acceptance, each with increasing energetic frequencies, all of them signs of our human potential, until we reach Enlightenment.
As you can see under the "Courage Line" lives the relational power struggle, along with pride, anger, fear, and shame.
When we are in our human essence, in our nobility, we are above the "Courage Line," and we exhibit Power. When we are under the "Courage Line," in our "survival dance," we exhibit Force, or Pseudo-Power. In our relational power struggle, we get what we want through Force. In our human essence, in our nobility, in our authentic connection, we are naturally empowered by each other, and we act creatively from the inspiration of our true human Power."
I am sending you the article and the chart with the hope that both of these might assist you in those times when the question "What the heck do I do now?" arises in your future work with couples.
With gratitude for having you as part of my community of colleagues,
Wishing you a fulfilling and productive 2018,
With my warmest regards,
P.S. As a member of our "Community of Therapists" it is my pleasure to let you know that Yumi and I are now presenting what we call our NEW Adventure in Intimacy workshop for couples, on January 19-21, 2018 in Miami, Florida, and March 9-11, 2018 in Monterey, California.
This workshop is our "harvest" work, representing the integration and coherence of our entire journey of working with couples. Please encourage all your couples to join us for this new workshop. It is open to all couples, and couples who have been to our workshops in the past are encouraged to come and attend as well.
Let your clients know that Geoffrey, our Operations Manager, is available to answer all their questions and assist them in registering for the workshop. He may be reached at 305-604-0010 or via email at Geoffrey@HedyYumi.com.