Yumi and I got married on April 13, 1965, in Tel Aviv, Israel.

Here we are today with our entire Schleifer “tribe.”

People ask: “What is your secret?”

Our answer is: the EYE and the EAR!

   * The EYE: the widening of the “Appreciative Eye,” which we learned from Diana Whitney, David Cooperrider, and others who founded of Appreciative Inquiry.

   * The EAR: the deepening of “Generative Listening,” which we learned from Otto Scharmer.

Sitting in Synagogue on Shabbat, I found inspiration for the stretching of both the EYE and the EAR in my prayer book:

1- The EYE:

In the Shabbat morning prayer I read:

“For this is the duty of all creatures before You, to thank, to praise, to laud, to glorify, to exalt, to honor, to bless, to raise high, and to acclaim.”

Yes, I thought. This indeed is what we, Yumi and I, are summoned to do every single day with each other:

Get quiet and breathe.
Run the inner movie of what we fell in love with.
Notice what we admire now.
Then thank, laud, honor, bless and acclaim one another.

  • I appreciate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh
  • I appreciate the way you express your creativity
  • I appreciate being in a conscious marriage with you
  • I appreciate the way you listened to what I said

2- The EAR:

I stopped when I read Rabbi Sacks’s definition of “Listen!”

Rabbi Sacks, the former Chief Rabbi of the UK, says that “Listen!”means the following:

   (1) hear
        (2) reflect on
             (3) understand
                  (4) internalize
                       (5) respond in innovative action.

Rabbi Sacks encourages us to become a Civilization of the Ear.

Enjoy reading an article that Yumi and I wrote titled “Encounters through Generative Listening.”

And so as we enter our 54th year of marriage, we lift our glasses to you to say L’Hayim, to LIFE!

May we together grow as a civilization of the EYE and the EAR,

With joyful excitement, 
Hedy & Yumi